It’s All A Conspiracy

A patron passes a painting inside the International UFO Museum and Research Center in Roswell, N.M., Tuesday, June 10, 1997. The small town is bracing for its biggest invasion yet, the 50th anniverary of an alleged UFO crash.

(AP Photo/Eric Draper)

A patron passes a painting inside the International UFO Museum and Research Center in Roswell, N.M., Tuesday, June 10, 1997. The small town is bracing for its biggest invasion yet, the 50th anniverary of an alleged UFO crash.

In 1947, a strange object was seen flying across the sky above Roswell, New Mexico. It filled the night sky with a sharp white light and then disappeared. A few farmers found mangled metal strewn across their fields and took the debris to the local authorities. The government immediately stated that the metal was from a weather balloon that was lost earlier in the week, but confiscated the debris for ‘further testing’.

And thus, Area 51 was born:  a small government facility in the desert of southern Nevada dedicated solely to investigating aliens. Or so some think. If that’s true, it’s one of the worst-kept secrets in history.

But today, conspiracy theories–from aliens to assassinations to Apollo 11–have become a well-loved aspect of American culture. History teacher Brett Melton says, “They have become a little more prevalent in society than I would want them to be. Conspiracy theories usually change from decade to decade and they can reflect the public’s distrust in the government.”

Apple Valley English teacher Dr. Bob Helgeson offers his opinion on our culture’s view of these theories: “Often, the only thing that separates a so-called ‘conspiracy’ theory from a consideration as a more ‘valid’ theory is a person’s values, beliefs, or biases, rather than an accumulation of actual evidence.”

So today, let’s take a closer look at some of America’s favorites, with the help of one of Apple Valley’s own historians, Mr. Brett Melton:


9/11 cover-up

Walking the halls of Apple Valley every once in awhile I’ll hear someone say “Bush did 9/11” and it gets me wondering. The Week magazine wrote in 2011 that there are ten separate conspiracy theories surrounding 9/11 and “who did it?”

Melton says that the most outlandish out of all 9/11 cover ups is the idea that the United States had something to do with it. “There were over 3, 000 deaths in the attack; there’s no way that could be beneficial to the US government.”

But unlike Mr. Melton, members of the Apple Valley Debate team, who want to remain anonymous, stand strongly by the fact that Bush was behind 9/11. Their main argument is, “jet fuel can’t melt steel beams.”

This Sept. 11, 2001 file photo shows smoke rising from the burning twin towers of the World Trade Center after hijacked planes crashed into the towers, in New York City. The U.S. government is aware of no credible or specific information that points to any terror plot tied to the anniversary of the September 2001 attacks, according to a new confidential threat assessment from the FBI and Homeland Security Department obtained by The Associated Press. (AP Photo/Richard Drew, File)
(AP Photo/Richard Drew, File)


JFK Assassination

Many of us have seen the strange parallels between Abraham Lincoln and John Fitzgerald Kennedy, but the strangest theory surrounding JFK is his assassination. Charles Shaffer Jr., who served as a Justice Department prosecutor in 1964, was one of the men in charge of investigating the assassination.

In an interview in 2014, Shaffer said that there were more developments to the case after it had been closed, ones the government never wanted getting out into the public. “He has long been troubled by disclosures about possible Mafia involvement in the assassination…”

Mob lawyer Frank Ragano wrote that Tampa-based crime boss Santo Trafficante confessed to him in 1987 that he and Carlos Marcello, the mob boss of New Orleans, were responsible for the assassination. According to Ragano, the dying boss uttered the words: “Carlos messed up. We shouldn’t have killed John. We should have killed Bobby.” JFK WAS AN ACCIDENTAL MOB HIT!? That breaks my heart.

Sen. John F. Kennedy, Democratic presidential candidate, and his wife, Jacqueline, pause to talk to crowd as they pass through the Wall Street area en route to City Hall in New York, Oct. 19, 1960. As Kennedy talked the crowd surged toward his car. At Mayor Wagner's suggestion, Sen. Kennedy spoke but briefly and motorcade proceeded up Broadway from City Hall. (AP Photo)
(AP Photo)


Moon landings were faked

The Kennedy Space Center in Florida has an exhibit of the ‘moon’ with the Apollo 11 space shuttle (pictured below). I mean if the moon landings were fake, they could have filmed it right there in the Space Center and no one would be able to tell the difference. Melton says, “There is absolutely no stock for this theory. Even the people who could most politically benefit, the Soviets, did not believe that the landing was faked.”

photo courtesy of Maria Michaelson
photo courtesy of Maria Michaelson


Clinton Body Count

Bill Clinton wasn’t seen as a ruthless president, but this conspiracy theory completely changes that.

The “Clinton body count” is a list of White House and political associates that died before and during his presidency under mysterious circumstances–there are over 60!

Some of the most famous deaths include Vince Foster, who died in 1993, who was supposedly Hillary’s lover. He was a White House Counsel member and also from the same hometown as Bill. His death was proclaimed a suicide, but everyone knows that’s the CIA’s favorite way to cover it up.

William Colby, director of the CIA who died in 1996, was another notable loss. Colby divulged national secrets, such as the agency’s role in tapping the telephones of Americans, plotting the assassination of Fidel Castro, and using human guinea pigs for mind-control experiments involving LSD. He was replaced by Herbert Walker Bush in 1976, and then, gone…

see also the Bush Body Count

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, right, greets former U.S. President Bill Clinton in the Novo-Ogaryovo residence outside Moscow, Russia, Tuesday, June 29, 2010. (AP Photo/RIA-Novosti, Alexei Druzhinin, Pool)
(AP Photo/RIA-Novosti, Alexei Druzhinin, Pool)

Watch out Putin–you might be next.


Communist fluoride

Speaking of the former Soviet Union, this next theory explains our entire relationship with Russia since the Cold War. They have been poisoning our drinking water with fluoride for 70 years! New York Magazine writes that the communists did this to control the minds of everyone in the United States. The original creation of the chemical has been attributed to scientists in Nazi Germany. Yay for chemistry!

May Day activities in Red Square in Moscow are seen, with marchers carrying a picture of Mishka, symbol of the Moscow Olympics, May 1, 1980. Portraits of Lenin, Marx, and Engels are seen at top. (AP Photo/Boris Yurchenko)
May Day activities in Red Square in Moscow are seen, with marchers carrying a picture of Mishka, symbol of the Moscow Olympics, May 1, 1980. Portraits of Lenin, Marx, and Engels are seen at top. (AP Photo/Boris Yurchenko)



This is the one conspiracy theory that I cannot truly even explain to you. I just don’t really buy it at all. New York magazine writes that the Illuminati is apparently our governing body. Most of our world leaders are really just shape shifting reptiles that are under the control of Lucifer?

Melton explained to me that the Illuminati is like a secret society that runs all the world institutions, such as banks and governments. “It’s almost like the Skull and Bones group at Yale University; it creates an air of mystery that makes everything seem like a bigger deal than it actually is.”

The rest is open to interpretation–the Illuminati could be a thousand different things. All we know for sure is that Beyonce and Queen Elizabeth II are definitely members.

photo courtesy of Kevo Thomson
photo courtesy of Kevo Thomson


Trying to explain conspiracy theories can be a difficult thing to do because most of them don’t make sense. While interviewing Mr. Melton, he told me a great anecdote that I thought summarized the idea of conspiracy theories very well:

“A paranoid man and his wife decide to stay in a hotel for the night, and the husband is certain that something is watching them in their room. So before they go to bed that night, he searches every niche, every corner and finally finds a little screw underneath the carpet in the middle of the room. Satisfied, he throws it out the window and sleeps, peacefully, through the night. The next morning they are awoken with a knock on the door. It’s the hotel manager.  ‘How did you sleep last night?” he asks them. ‘Very well,’ the husband responds. ‘Well I’m glad you did,’ the manager says, ‘because the people below you had a chandelier fall on them while they were sleeping.’

And there you have it–America’s most loved conspiracy theories. Whether you choose to believe them or not, just remember the government is watching. So if I’m not around after the publication of this article, maybe I actually got something right.